let's pretend...the aftermath
March 19, 2004, 2:33 pm

Let's just pretend for a minute that I went to school yesterday all brave and unscathed, and not with my dad carrying my books and stuff into my classroom for me as my students piled in. Let's enjoy the fact that I had a great first class, and I was doing okay until the kids that witnessed the fight yesterday came in. Let's pretend I had a great class until two or three of the kids who were friends with the kid I had arrested started saying the fight was "funny" and "funny" and laughing and making fun of me for calling for help and as the other kids got mad because it wasn't funny or silly, let's pretend that one of the kids didn't say, "The only reason you're mad, Ms. B, is because you got hurt, and you're not really hurt. You'd think it was funny, too."

Let's pretend I didn't completely lose my temper and shout at the kid for it being so tragic that he though something so awful was funny, and let's pretend those kids didn't start laughing.

Let's pretend I didn't lose it between classes and my principal didn't tell me to go home. Let's pretend that there isn't a lawsuit pending and that kid...that kid that hit me and hit another teacher and a police officer...let's pretend that he isn't out of jail and trying to not be expelled.

Let's pretend that the kid DOESN'T have a long history of expellable offenses but was given "another chance" time and time again.

Let's pretend one of the administrators didn't think this was my fault. Let's pretend I'm not being called a racist by this administrator because I identified the kids' friends who, oops, happened to be black also.

Let's pretend that I'm brave, I'm brave, I'm brave, and I want to go back to school. Let's pretend I haven't spent the day hopped up on Valium and sleeping and crying and wishing I were anywhere but here, with an upset stomach and five losses on my NCAA pool already.

Let's pretend I'm back to normal.