it had to happen sooner or later
December 11, 2003, 8:19 pm

In the past 24 hours, I have (in chronological order):

1. Slammed my barely-a-year-old-car into the back of someone else's, causing my license plate to fly off and rip an ugly chunk into my bumper.

2. Gotten lost in the bowels of Baltimore.

3. Ran over a median strip in aforementioned city, causing very extensive and expensive damage to tagless, ugly bumpered and traumatized aforementioned car.

4. Smoked about 15 cigarettes on Fiestada's couch.

5. Hooked school with the (palpable) excuse of a wacked neck/back.

6. Learned that my substitute never showed, leaving all of my classes unattended until THIRD period.

7. Was winked at by a cute (!) car dealership employee while I breathlessly pontificated on the problems with my car.

8. Found out the damage done to my car in both the accident and the median-jumping (mostly the median-jumping) may be expensive and extensive.

9. Waited outside in 51+ mph winds for my dad to come fetch me from the car dealership.

10. Went Christmas shopping with my parents and purchased a ton of stuff for people I either a) hardly talk to or b) won't see before Christmas.

11. Really fucking hurt my neck/back.

I wish I could tell you what it was like this morning, waking up and thinking my life is complete and total shit. I think you would have appreciated the visual of me, sprawled on my girl's couch, chain-smoking and feeling sorry for myself. I must have watched the same episode of Sportscenter three times ("Did You Know that the Maryland Terrapins are the only team to ever win a National Championship having NEVER been ranked number one?") I was the picture of the sad, despondent, and lonely; a veritable cautionary tale for fat girls who want too much.

Then, interestingly enough, something hit me over the head with the force of 10 Grinches, plus 2. I sprang from the couch, threw on my clothes, and with the Pointer Sisters' "Jump (for my love)" and visions of Hugh Grant dancing running through my head, I got into my car and gunned it Annapolis-ward.

See, my life doesn't suck, I had to remind my seratonin-lacking brain, I have a car, a great house, and a great family. I have Christmas. I have a job. I have parents who love each other. I have a warm, woolly sweatshirt. I have a gift for making friends and having people like me. I am skilled in bed. I have a part in a play that I like very much. I have an education. I have...

and the list went on.

So all the bad things that happened to me last night? All things that have happened to others at some point, and I needn't overreact. And all the money I spent on gifts for people? Well, I'm happy to do it because it makes me...happy...and it makes my bank, the economy, and the country happy, too! See! Paying it forward DOES WORK!