journalcon jitters
October 04, 2003, 8:51 pm

JournalCon is in two weeks. I mean, two weeks from tonight, I'll be in Austin, Texas.

I'll be hobnobbing, brushing elbows, and quite possibly singing karaoke with some of the most talented and influential writers here on Diaryland.

Seriously, WEETABIX and TRANCEJEN and SUNDRY will be there. LadeeLeroy is registered, too.

These are phenomenal writers whose work I admire. I can't just go jumping in there with THOSE people. I'm like Chris Elliot in a room with Kevin Spacey, Glenn Close, and Johnny Depp, trying to talk about real acting.

I'm going to check-in to my hotel room on Thursday and gawk around the lobby. I think I'll get wasted in the hotel bar, throw up a few times, and then just pass out to calm my nerves. When the conference starts up, my plan is to busy myself by feverishly arrange the flowers at the tables like I work there until either someone tells me to stop or I find a seat in the back where I can quietly observe what Tim is wearing or how Cruel Irony ties her shoes and if she comes wearing a pink hat. I'll try to be incognito and all mysterious and stuff, and it'll probably work because everyone will be enthralled with the famous people.

To further develop the idea that they'll really take anyone at JournalCon and let them speak, I'm going to be reading this entry in the "Web Writers Gone Wild" event. I'm all a-fluster. I'm already nervous, and I don't get nervous. I have to buy a new wardrobe to fit in, but I'm afraid I'll wear the wrong things. I want to throw a wildly out-of-control party and I want to sing karaoke, but I don't know if anyone will join me or want to include me in their reindeer games.

Luckily, Lee will take away any fears I have because he's agreed to drive up and engage in a night of inappropriate behavior so ridiculous and out-of-control that decorum prevents me from listing the events that will doubtlessly take place. Even if it's only a party for two, we'll have a smashing good time on Friday night. Wallflower be damned!

So, here's my plea to everyone attending JournalCon this year: don't be a stranger. Come and say hi. Let me take your picture with my Polaroid camera. Let me buy you a drink. Let me live up to my party-girl image and come out of my shell, okay? I'm really a lot of fun.

I'm not usually this desperate to make an impression, friends, but, see, I'm the person everyone calls for a good time. I'm the big fish in the small pond out here. I'm the girl that invites 50-60-100 people to every party because I CAN. Out there, well, if they know me at all, I'll just be that girl that pooped in her sister's tub.

Hmmm...maybe I just found my swag idea.