"i'm sorry, but i'm just thinking about the right words to say..."
October 21, 2003, 6:30 pm

Driving home tonight, I found myself bopping along in my car to the ultra-excellent and very-quickly-nabbed Bad Bar Mix, compliments of the Weet...and of course I started thinking about JournalCon and what I did and who I met and who I miss now. Instinctively, I let my tongue run over the remnants of the herpes that TranceJen unwittingly passed on to me (okay, so I did give them to her, but whatever), and I thought "Damn, I better post soon before it all runs out of my head."

Funny, I don't think that really possible.

So sit back, kiddies, this entry is about JournalCon: those that were there can delight in scouring the entry for their names without really reading it, and the rest of you can just soak in the urine of your not being there.

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Thursday night brought the sting of the Yankees' win, but I hardly had time to prepare myself for Leebozeebo's arrival before Friday morning came. I met him in the hotel lobby and we started 24 hours of the "Lee and Jessi DAY OF FUN!" Although I had seen pictures of Lee, I wasn't prepared for the sheer awesomeness of his "Ants in the Pants" shirt or his Jack Black-esque rock opera style. I also wasn't prepared for him to deliver the smackdown on my age (oof, that hurt) or how sweet it was that whenever we crossed a street, he put his hand on the small of my back or on my arm. Aw.

The poor man endured my total crushing on Jack Black during School of Rock (dude, that movie fucking RULED), my penchant for squealing about all things JournalCon, and my constant singing of Tenacious D, which he met with equal enthusiasm. We rocked at a dueling piano bar called Pete's...they're full of them in Austin and I was stunned to find he'd never been in one before. In short, Leebozeebo, I salute you for a fantastic day and night of Texas fun, even if I was a tad disappointed in your utter and complete lack of accent. You rock hard tasty abs washerboard style, glistening in the sun!

So Lee and I went down to the open mixer on Friday night, and as I entered to grab some swag, I locked eyes with TranceJen. Of course I knew who she was, I mean, WHO DOESN'T, but it really cemented the gravity of the situation with seeing her in person when my girl hissed at me over the phone before I left, "IF YOU DON'T GET TRANCEJEN'S AUTOGRAPH FOR ME, I WILL KILL YOU." Fiestada does not play. Yeah, so I was the ultimate fangirl and asked for TranceJen's autograph...little did I know that later I'd get much, much more.

I spied Sundry and hedged for thirty minutes whether or not I should go say "hi" because as boisterous as I am, I didn't know exactly what to say to her except "Dude, you rule and your husband is fucking HOT." I've always been amazed with Sundry's journal, but my mind was drawing a complete blank as far as anything roughly coherent was concerned. Then, it happened.

I grabbed Lee's shirt and whimpered and just pointed because there she was: the grand goddess of diaryland, Weetabix. Holy fucking shit! WEETABIX WAS STANDING 20 ft. away! She was on the webcam. I dragged Lee over and said, "Uh, hi. Biensoul, uh, Jessi."

The hug I got was terrific and the smile even more so...WEETABIX KNOWS WHO I AM! (Lee's right; I'm a total Weeta-groupie.) Then she railed on me for not sending my Christmas cards last year or the Valentine's cards I promised...oops. I deserved it.

At the mixer I also ran into Lucky who I had never read before, and boy, I know what I'm missing now. She is, without a doubt, one of the greatest souls I've ever met; there's something about her so kind and assuring that you just want to bask in her company for long, long periods of time. (If this is too sappy for you, it gets worse, so your best bet is to stop reading, seriously.)

The rest of the night passed quickly; I took some photos and then I read this entry which went over really, really well. There's something very liberating about admitting to an entire room-full of near strangers that you took it in the ass on a one-night stand, and I got the laughs I was looking for and the compliments I wanted, too.

Cruel-Irony told me how much she enjoyed my reading and my journal, and let me tell you, that girl is FIESTY. Lots of people have commented on her height, but honestly, there's just something captivating about her eyes and her personality that draw an innocent bystander in. What an awesome, awesome chick.

Had a brief moment of awesome when AnnaRain told me she knew who I was and she read me (and she wasn't just being polite). Fame whore, that's me!

Everyone else I met was very, very nice, but I had NO IDEA there was such a prejudice against diaryland users; damn, Stephen from diary-x administered a major beatdown on diaryland while TranceJen, Mare, the mysterious man-maker-outer and marvelous partygirl and I were slurping down drinks at the hotel bar. Puhleese. A) I like diaryland, so all those look-at-me-I-have-my-own-domain-and-you-suck-'cause-you-don't bitches can kiss my disturbingly pale ass, and B) Hello? Diarist.net awards? Sa-weep. End of conversation. Not to say that people who have their own domains were bitchy, not at all, like AB, Tim, Monty, Elizabeth and Steph were so damn cool you'd have to keep them in the freezer. I don't know; maybe that's the paranoid in me.

Christ on bike this is too long already.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I have planned my complete wedding (ceremony, reception, catering, band, etc.) to LadeeLeroy. Holy Mary, Mother of God people, I just don't think you understand. When I went up to say "hi" to her, she gave me a hug and a smile so warm and genuine it almost brought tears to my eyes AND she said, "Hey Jess! Are you nervous about your reading?" Like, HELLO?!? She read my mind! Sundry, Chiara, and TranceJen and I will have to fight over her after class.

I went to a few panels, but I have to admit that Sundry and LadeeLeroy's was the best. It really made me question why exactly I do this thing...and I'll write about my self-exploration into it later.

I spent Saturday with Cruel-Irony and TranceJen, and I guess it's about time I talk about Trance and why I gave her herpes. Trance is, to put it quite succinctly, my MUTHAFUCKING DIZAWG. I think we were probably separated at birth, forced to live 1200 miles apart, and then met by coincidence at a snobby Journal camp just like The Parent Trap (I think "Nothin' but a G-Thang" is a welcome substitute for "Let's Get Together"). She is fan-fucking-tastic, and such an unbelievably talented wordsmith that I am both in bewildered awe and insanely out-of-control fan-girly of her, but honestly, when I was around her I felt like I had known her since forever (Kat and Fiestada: she SO would have been a regular in WWLT). And, we both had a cold sore develop at exactly the same time, so she blames the herpes on me (gah), so we're inexorably linked.

Anyway, we hit Leroy's show which was damn funny I wet myself, and then headed off to karaoke. Oh Christ.

It's no secret that I enjoy a healthy libation; it's no secret I get sloppy ass drunk every once in a while. It's no secret I enjoy my karaoke. Add in Chauffi humping a gorilla statue, AB breaking down Mad's honor student woes, Omar singing "Darling Nikki" and getting in his face, Monty's amazing "One Night In Bangkok" rendition, and TranceJen and Weetabix separately rockin' the mike with their songs.

So I rapped "Gin and Juice." And I nailed every word despite my drunken stupor, with other people's names thrown in for good measure. Holy hell, we were all PLOWED. Sundry, TranceJen and I had the gumption to down a few tequila shots, and Sundry joined me for a kickass red-headed slut. I took a TON of pictures of on the damn gorilla and was having a BLAST (which included singing my own "Piano Man" resplendent with a verse how CI always lights people's cigarettes).

Sunday came too fast.

I spent the morning just wallowing in my hangover and saying goodbye to my pals. I shared a cab with Sundry, Chiara, and Gael, and Sundry "made" me tell the tub poop story...okay, so I wanted to tell it, but Sundry certainly gave me permission. The cab driver, at least, was amused.

In the airport, I met up with Michelle and wondered where the time had gone.

If nothing else, I know what I do here is worth it because there's some amazing people thrown in this crazy endeavor with me. I love you all.