wrong!
November 24, 2003, 9:21 pm

"Never be afraid to just sit and think." --A Raisin In the Sun

What's been on my mind? What has ye old biensoul been up to since she last graced your eyeballs with her prattlings? Lots and lots that have been documented by far more eloquent and silly people...but since you want to know (right? RIGHT?!?), I'll bring you up to speed a la the Laughlin Group:

ISSUE #1: The Play

The play went, well, the play went. It actually went pretty well the last two nights; opening night was of course shaky, and the kids weren't the only ones pissing their proverbial pants (or is that proverbially pissing their pants?) from nervousness. I was a freaking mess, and those feelings pretty much validated why I'm not a good director. I think a director is supposed to make the cast feel at ease and laugh off things that go wrong; it does not bode well for an adult "in charge" skipping around, losing the cash box, and then snapping at the audience for not knowing it was intermission (when, in fact, the program was wrong...oops).

The kids did well, besides jitters and dropped lines. It was a tough play. I think, though, they handled it with aplomb and grace. (Nevermind the nervous breakdown I'm having over a fight that broke out backstage the last night; I'll be bitching about that plenty later on.)

Fiestada, KatSlater, and Ramses, the kat's husband, made the trek on opening night. I will say that the presence of katslater did both excite me and make my nerves ratchet up a bit; I wanted soooo desperately for everything to go well, you know, say "Hey look! I'm an adult and I'm grown up and so are you and I hope you'll think me great again."

I don't think I needed to have worried so much. She was as funny, sincere, intelligent, and prone to hilarity as our most tender teenage days...the addition of alcohol and cigarettes to our hanging out experience only intensified its surreality, but were welcome nonetheless. Honestly, I felt GOOD the whole night, and I'm looking forward to my visiting her this summer. Hopefully, she'll have loads of good boy mates for me to snog. Ah, Kat, it was so good to see you.

Fiestada kicks ass as a hostess, let me say. Dammit, I want to see her this week and play Rummikub/Phase 10/drink cheap wine. I better call her.

Oops, I think I forayed into ISSUE #2, so I'll just move ahead to ISSUE #3: Football!

I lost two games yesterday (I had Cleveland and Denver; how 'bout them Ravens, Joey, eh?) and am tied for first going into tonight's game. If the total score is anywhere near 35, I'm golden. GO RAVENS! WOOHOO! (Again. Sorry.)

ISSUE #4: CHILDREN!

So Dave told you about all our weekend escapades (words about a Janet Jackson song) with various kids of people we sort of know. The experience sent a clear message to my uterus: CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

Jeepers Crow, I mean, a child?!?! YOU CAN'T EAT IN AN ADULT RESTAURANT WITH ONE OF THOSE! You can't eat a meal! There's no "running" to the grocery store that doesn't take at least a half an hour! They need constant attention! They are not rational beings!

I think you all know me well enough to know that I'm crazy selfish; as in, nothing affects me unless it directly involves me. I cannot raise a child at this stage of my life (presuming I ever grow out of it). PLUS, thanks, but I'm too much of a worrywart. Seriously, every three seconds a warning bell went off in my head that Scott was going to fall down and bust his head open while we were walking around the restaurant. Every two times Dana did a somersault, I said a silent prayer that she wouldn't break her neck.

Either I'm going to be the most protective parent ever (think anti-bacterial EVERYTHING and a brown-eyed kid with thick eyebrows glancing wistfully at the other kids on the playground as I make him/her watch) or I'm simply just going to give up as soon as I give birth. Nevermind, I shouldn't be thinking about such things...unless it brings me to

ISSUE #4: The Neverending Sloughing of Uterine Lining

No wonder I've been such a raging bitch. I've had my period for almost three weeks now. 'Bout damn time. I'll spare you my fascinating monthly cycle story, but rest assured, I'm relieved.

ISSUE #5: Not that there is any reason to be relieved, or any portending reasons to look forward to my period on the horizon.

Dammit.

ISSUE #6: Thanksgiving Placecards.

I just sat upstairs on my bedroom floor making sixteen decorative placecards for our guests on Thursday. I also made 50 (50!) Christmas cards. If you want one, email me your address, and I'll send one to you. (For real this time. I have stamps. And an entire weekend. I won't bail out on you like I did last year; really.)

ISSUE #7: The Battle of the Bulge.

I had a full-loaded with carbs day. I'll be better tomorrow.