Weetacon: The Wrath of Con, Part One
March 10, 2005, 12:25 pm

I went to Weetacon and all I got was a kidney infection, a shit load of Packers merchandise, and a lot of happy (and hazy) memories.

Thumper took me to BWI early last Friday morning to get a flight that I almost missed and thus my weekend began. I'll spare you the horrific "case of the missing bag" details, but just know that it was about three or four hours before my luggage turned up. It was cause for some concern because how could one attend Weetacon with only ONE pair of shoes?! I ask you!

The highlights come to me in snippets and visions, but one that is very clear was getting off the plane in Green Bay, having to walk outside in the snow, and gawking at the TEENY wait area at the gate (I'm talking DOCTOR'S OFFICE SIZE, people!), then seeing a very familiar pair of sparkling blue eyes donning a FANTASTIC pink coat! WEET! The Empress of Diaryland herself waved at me and smiled and I charged her and chucked her into the security glass like a hockey player. Level of Squee: Super High.

I got a tour of fabulous Weet-centric areas, was dropped off at the hotel, and was told to meet at Al's hamburgers. Al's hamburgers was EXACTLY what I had expected to find in Green Bay: greasy spoon food, low ceilings, a bunch of beer bellies donning Packers apparel and kind smiles, and a table of out-of-towners: My Muthafuckin' Dizawg, TranceJen, Luvabeans, who may be the most adorable human being on the planet, Kari, who is the kindest and most thoughtfully accomodating person I've ever met, and the hotty hot Super Team of Science-Girl and Mr. Science-Girl, who take TASTEFUL-like-Demi-Moore-on-the-cover-of-Vanity-Fair nudie sticker photos.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur because I was tired and cranky about my suitcase; I know that we ate, Kari drove me back to the airport to claim my errant bag, and we picked up Boston Mary (a bundle of smiles and sass), Petrouckha (whom I recognized right away because I heard classical music in my head) and the fucking GORGEOUS Minarae, who quite possibly has the best skin on the planet. I blame myself for the hour we spent in the car being lost around the hotel, but it was time well spent getting acquainted and you know, seeing the sights.

In the hotel lobby, I met DebSiobhan, who I could have shared my plane ride with, and BettyBigHead, who I love forever for...well, I'll get to that a bit later. My girlfriend in shoe addiction, the amazing Mare greeted me with such a ferocious hug I could have been strangled, and my statuary-humping partner-in-crime Chauffi arrived just in time to chastise me for not posting my JournalCon pics from last year (they're coming, by the by...Thumper is working on it). I also met Lisa-Marie again and The Jason, Paula and Alison and gosh, the list just goes on and on...

The Sleigh Ride was magical. I remember taking slugs of The Good Doctor, the hot sleigh-driver cowboy, and Luva suggesting we do some snowangels (ill-advised, as I was suffering from snow-down-the-pants for the rest of the night). I know there's a picture of me doing Jake from behind as he's taking a shit in the woods, but maybe that'll turn up on someone else's blog down the line, eh? I distinctly remember Jake and I yelling about JOHN GEORGE PEPPERS and Weet hissing at us to be quiet because "That thing is about to happen, you know, that thing with the Russian...look!" Romance! In the snow! Kevin on one knee! Minarae sobbing YES! I wept tears of joy mixed with drunkeness and wished them well.

Gosh, this is taking forever...as the weekend keeps coming back, I don't want to forget any of it.

Karaoke: Just know I ruled. As did Luva and Trance and SingleDadGuy , who can not only play a mean fiddle, but can also slow dance very nicely to "Time after Time". One of my favorite quotes of the weekend came from Luva after Trance and I sang "If I Had A Million Dollars": "Seriously, I have SUCH a crush on you guys now." (Coincidentally, Luva also has my most favorite quote from the weekend: "Oh, we know how you [Northern Nationality Edited to Protect The Hardly Innocent]s play Spin The Bottle, but down here we call it fucking!")

I think my highlight was "Bust-A-Move" because the entire damn Weetacon went and grooved to my vocal stylings; I gave my peeps they're proper shout-outs during "Gin and Juice" and vaguely remember screaming "GO PACKERS!" in the middle of it. At that point the Doctor, the Jack, the Grog, the beer that I downed on the bus, and the squee takes over, so I can't really continue. Oh karaoke, how I adore you.