i'm throwing a yard sale
February 16, 2004, 10:13 pm

Let it be known: I am not an organized person.

Let it further be known: I am a horrible procrastinator.

Let it furthest be known: the combination of poor organizational skills plus a penchant for procrastination yields closet/bathroom/bedroom messes of an unbelievable caliber.

I have spent the past 48 hours throwing out, scouring, ripping, sorting, piling, separating, organizing, alphabetizing, seasonizing, sizing, complimenting, smelling, surfing, and scrubbing the vast wasteland that equals my corner of the Biensoul Compound. I have filled trashbags full of half-used hair product, miniskirts from college, receipts from book purchases three years ago, ripped towels, and unsuccessful diet plans. I have waded through twelve loads of wearable laundry, yet I still feel I have nothing to wear. I have categorized my shoes by season, color, and occasion. I have scrubbed my bathtub and organized my medicine cabinet so all lotions are grouped by purpose (moisturizing, exfoliating, thickness) and scent.

I am a one-woman mad cleaning machine.

Yet my room is still a mess, my car is no cleaner, and I have yet to touch a paper to grade it.

Megan and I were discussing the future of our respective motherhood viability yesterday:

Me: I can't even take a glass back to the kitchen after I drink from it; how can I be expected to look after a child?

Megan: Seriously, I can't remember to make a dentist appointment for myself; what's going to happen when I have to do that for kids?

Me: All of my goldfish have died. How can I be expected to take care of a KID?!?!

Megan: Yeah, they require a more complicated diet than flakes.

Me: If and when I ever make the committment to picking my dirty socks off the end of my bed, maybe I'll think about having kids.

There are four piles of laundry left, there are trashbags all around, and my paper supply seems to have patterned itself after the Yellow-Brick Road. The good news is that it's a start. The bad news is that I will consider this start enough and mess it all up again.