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goodnight, sweet goldfish
August 1, 2002, 4:52pm

I bought Giles, the goldfish, a friend. I named her Anya (because here in Apt. 103, all pets need to be named after Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters for reasons as yet unknown to me).

Anya died today.

Now...I usually thought that when a goldfish died, it died belly-up on the top of the water. Not Anya. Anya decided to glide gracefully along the bottom of the bowl, slightly tilted to the side and not breathing.

I made Mike take her out of the tank.

"Why me?"

"Because you're a boy."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Listen...I do not buy into any stereotypical gender roles at all, but see, boys are genetically engineered for three things: cutting grass, killing spiders, and flushing dead goldfish, so far be it for me to argue with mother nature."

"Oh."

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