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a required taste for the pretentious as all get out


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conversations with chocolate bars and cars
November 12, 2002, 7:09 pm

"C'mere."

"Mmm?"

"You know you want to."

"Ummm...I don't think I'm supposed to...it kind of defeats the purpose of how good I've been."

"See, you deserve a reward. How about it?"

"I don't think so."

"I hear something...is that your stomach?"

"No!"

"Are you hungry? I think you are..."

"NO! NO! NO!"

"What are you doing?"

"Drinking water."

"What? To make you pee more?"

"No, to avoid you."

"Shyeah, that'll happen; I--what are you doing now?"

"Eating cereal."

"Why?"

"Because this cereal is filling and its about 1/5 of the calories you are, and when I'm finished, I'll feel like I've eaten something and I won't hate myself for ruining a good day. So THERE."

__________________________________________________

I'm pretty sure the mechanic at my dealership was flirting with me today. He was making fun of me while concurrently checking out my left hand. He said something about "Well, I see no ring on your finger..." and then showed me where the waiting room was. I should have paid better attention, but seeing as how I was missing my wallet at the time, I was a bit frazzled.

I got my oil changed for free because it was the car's first tune-up. Awwww.

I got a weird feeling driving her out of the dealership parking lot; I wondered if she smiled or waved at her brothers and sisters as she left. I wondered if she was happy with me and my teacher-car syndrome. I wondered if cars met each other as they passed on the highway and reminisced about the old days at the dealership or how much they hated test-driving. I wondered if they faintly nodded to one another in acknowledgement as they sped away from one another, never knowing if they'd bump into one another again..

Then I wondered why I was such a freak imagining the hidden lives of cars and I cranked the Superdrag.

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