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area woman on verge of losing sanity
March 24, 2004, 9:27 pm

Today, the Capital and Maryland Gazette published the story of how a student, 15, assaulted two teachers when a fight broke out in Jessica Biensoul's class.

That's what the article said. Let me clear up any confusion which the article left to interpretation:

Biensoul, 25, obviously has no control over her classroom if ruffians have the opportunity to fuck each other up.

Biensoul, damsel in distress, was apparently saved when a good-for-nothing-no-hallway-duty-serving science teacher came in and intervened, after watching Biensoul get a cheap shot to the arm and suffer a nervous breakdown.

Biensoul, last month's Educator of the Month for the second time, nearly contemplated getting into her car, driving to the west coast, and demanding that Mike put her up on his couch.

Biensoul, pissed as hell, burst into violent tears after grading papers for three and a half hours and forgetting about her mother's P.E. show.

Biensoul, super citizen, received a letter from the IRS saying that she owes them another $314.86 in interest on the $946.35 she paid them last year.

Biensoul, daughter, received a pep talk from her dad, which traipsed the line between "tough love" and "go team!" Biensoul has one of these talks from her amazing dad at least once a week, and she loves it, but today it was too much, she reported.

Biensoul neglected to call three friends on their birthdays this week.

Biensoul will go take another Valium and hope June comes as quickly as possible.

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