four movies in four days
July 13, 2004, 11:49 pm

I saw four movies this weekend, and while I fancy myself a FANTASTIC film reviewer, I know if you'd want real opinions about films you'd subscribe to my person entertainment Bible, Entertainment Weekly. Here are the movies I saw, reviewed by me, in haiku:

1. Fahrenheit 9/11

Oh, poor Michael Moore!

Corruption in politics

is not fucking new.

2. Anchorman

Ron Burgundy, ha!

This film needed more cowbell

Milk WAS a bad choice.

3. Spiderman 2

Alfred Molina

Those tenacles are scary!

Subway fight? Yes, please!

4. Dodgeball

I love unicorns,

but I'm not hot as Marcia,

more like the fat girl.

Tada!

Should you need to reach us at all this week, Fiestada and I will be smoking cigarettes, drinking Smirnoff Raspberry Ice, and howling at VH1's I LOVE THE 90s (because we SO do).