i taped it; calm down
May 07, 2004, 1:23 pm

Dear Heavenly Father,

Bless me, Dear Lord in Heaven, for the sin I have committed against You and Your Vision for my Perfect Happiness. I pray to You, God, so that You will give me the strength to see the errors of my ways and assist me in repentence. I prostrate myself at Your Holy Feet for forgiveness for the sin against humanity that I have committed.

God, You gave everyone on Earth many talents to share with Your world, and I have always been taught to truly honor You, one must share those gifts and appreciate those gifts shared by others. My sin is that I did not partake of the miracle of gifts you showered upon some truly spectacular people, Lord. I neglected to watch the final episode of Friends.

I am aware, Lord, that the news of my sin distresses everyone around me, and makes You look bad because why else would You create spacious, brightly-colored apartments in New York City at rock-bottom prices and tremendously gorgeous young people without a situation comedy to explore our shared Human Existence and Experience? My dismissal of such a landmark occasion in human history surely does not warrant Your Forgiveness or Your Love, but I must beg for them both.

Thank You for all the blessings You continue to give me, God. I can only hope to catch the last episode of Frasier to quell Your wrath.

Sincerely,

Jessica Biensoul