my halloween costume is election 2004
October 30, 2004, 8:59 pm

You know that part of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown when Charlie is debating whether or not to remove the brown paper bag from his head while the Little Red-Headed Girl may or may not be staring at him and he's saying "On the other hand..." and "But on the other hand..."? That's how I feel about Tuesday's election.

Things are not pleasant in the Biensoul Compound as I've announced my political leanings and they conflict with nearly everyone in this house. It's not that my parents want to dictate who I should vote for, oh no, they just want me to know that he's not the cure-all I may paint him to be. It's not that they don't trust my opinion, but you know, everytime this type of President has been in the White House we, the Biensoul Family, have fallen upon difficult/tragic/bad times as a collective, and I wouldn't want to creat e that situation, would I?

I have spent more time this year preaching the gospel of the MODERATE: yes, he's not that great, and neither is this guy, can't we all just get along?, uh, I don't know who I'm voting for, but yes, there's something else going wrong her, why won't you listen, you polarized bastard?!?!?! I'm SICK of it.

America, to put it bluntly, is on its way out as a Superpower. It didn't start with Bush; I had this conversation in 1997, bitches, and the prognosis is the same: your decision on Tuesday may or may not prolong the inevitable, but it's still THERE. The sad truth is that these Presidential elections that I've been privileged to participate in have been a battle of who-do-you-dislike-least...shouldn't our President be the BEST we have to offer? Shouldn't our President reflect the morals/values/energy/charisma that we value in our athletes/celebrities/pop stars? Our election process has become a veritable extension of the music industry: "yeah, let's release that single because it'll sell" and "f-- this shit, man, it's good, but not marketable." I'm sorry, but I'm not willing to accept that the backbone of our Democracy can't find a buyer like a fucking Wilco album.

So, what can we do? We can go see Team America: World Police, and we can watch Fox News and CNN and Dan Rather and Jon Stewart and make faces at political signs as we pass them by. We can carve our pumpkins and dress up with Nixon masks and pump more money into the economy and, on Tuesday, go vote.

GO VOTE.

Read up on the issues, check out your newspaper's election rundown, and pray that everything will be okay.

And seriously, see Team America, 'cause that shit is funny.