jobby job search
March 16, 2004, 8:45 pm
The bottom line is this: Snoop Jessi Jess needs to get a jobby job, and FAST. My life, as I know it in any incarnation, is going to drastically change as of July 1, 2004 when I am no longer in the cotton candy womb of the State of Maryland Board of Education employ. Though I yearn to accept the welcoming arms of my comfortable lifestyle, I have realized lo these few months that a) I'm not happy and b) I'm not growing in any sense of the developmental phases of being an adult, ibid I live with my parents, cannot make a car payment, and find it hard to take care of myself. Therefore, I need to branch out and leave the high school from which I graduated and "do something else." The situation, quite frankly, is dire.
I had been toying with the idea of simply changing schools, but I hate my county, and then I thought I'd change counties, but honestly, why? To be honest, just jumping to the easy thing has been my m.o. forever, note:
1. where I went to college because it was familiar (and I had a scholarship, but whatever)
2. why I chose teaching to begin with (because I could get into the graduate program, and because I didn't know what else to do with an English degree)
3. why I was an R.A. and lived on campus all 4 years of college
4. why I live at home
5. why I don't really go out anymore
6. why I don't take care of myself
It's all very, very easy, this path of least resistance. So now I'm making a change, and it scares me because I have NO FUCKING IDEA how to deal with all this upheaval.
In times of crisis, I find it best to either cry or drink, so tonight, I just may do both. I blame David Blulinepaper, whose message actually sounded more like "Hello Jessica Biensoul, this is David Blulinepaper. In an ironic turn of events, I'm drunk and calling YOU...WHALALDOOHAOLI might move to California to sleep on Mike's couch, but that would mean I'd need a job, and I'd have to teach.
"You should just get an absolutely mindless job for a while," says Blulinepaper's dad. Or maybe I should tack up a sign: WILL LIVE ANYWHERE FOR FOOD.
So that's what I've been thinking about since I've been gone...there are so many other things I need to tell you, but I can say them later. Just know that I'm weirded out and I'm in a strange place, but I'll be okay. Does anyone have an extra couch for me to sleep on in the name of breaking out of my rut?