a required taste for the pretentious as all get out





jobby job search
March 16, 2004, 8:45 pm

The bottom line is this: Snoop Jessi Jess needs to get a jobby job, and FAST. My life, as I know it in any incarnation, is going to drastically change as of July 1, 2004 when I am no longer in the cotton candy womb of the State of Maryland Board of Education employ. Though I yearn to accept the welcoming arms of my comfortable lifestyle, I have realized lo these few months that a) I'm not happy and b) I'm not growing in any sense of the developmental phases of being an adult, ibid I live with my parents, cannot make a car payment, and find it hard to take care of myself. Therefore, I need to branch out and leave the high school from which I graduated and "do something else." The situation, quite frankly, is dire.

I had been toying with the idea of simply changing schools, but I hate my county, and then I thought I'd change counties, but honestly, why? To be honest, just jumping to the easy thing has been my m.o. forever, note:

1. where I went to college because it was familiar (and I had a scholarship, but whatever)

2. why I chose teaching to begin with (because I could get into the graduate program, and because I didn't know what else to do with an English degree)

3. why I was an R.A. and lived on campus all 4 years of college

4. why I live at home

5. why I don't really go out anymore

6. why I don't take care of myself

It's all very, very easy, this path of least resistance. So now I'm making a change, and it scares me because I have NO FUCKING IDEA how to deal with all this upheaval.

In times of crisis, I find it best to either cry or drink, so tonight, I just may do both. I blame David Blulinepaper, whose message actually sounded more like "Hello Jessica Biensoul, this is David Blulinepaper. In an ironic turn of events, I'm drunk and calling YOU...WHALALDOOHAOL

I might move to California to sleep on Mike's couch, but that would mean I'd need a job, and I'd have to teach.

"You should just get an absolutely mindless job for a while," says Blulinepaper's dad. Or maybe I should tack up a sign: WILL LIVE ANYWHERE FOR FOOD.

So that's what I've been thinking about since I've been gone...there are so many other things I need to tell you, but I can say them later. Just know that I'm weirded out and I'm in a strange place, but I'll be okay. Does anyone have an extra couch for me to sleep on in the name of breaking out of my rut?

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