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black love!
December 14, 2005, 12:38 pm

One year ago today, I spent an ungodly amount of time fixing, fixing, and refixing my hair to fly just so and I cursed my red nose and pudgy cheeks and swore up and down that no one would ever love me.

One year ago today, as I opened the door to my house, I was immediately astounded by how damn good looking my long-lost boyfriend had gotten in the four years since I had seen him last.

One year ago today, I swore I wouldn't really get attached because it was just a bit of fun, and I was smitten with someone else, and it wasn't for real, anyway.

One year ago today, I don't know if I realized how lucky I would be, or if I truly appreciated how much my life would change.

Fast forward to today, where I am spending my second day in a row at home, riddled with the flu (I think the stress of the play finally did me in), and all I can think about is that at 4:00am yesterday, when I couldn't leave the toilet and threw up PeptoBismol in the tub, my boyfriend rubbed my shoulders and told me he loved me. Even when I somehow managed to spew on the bathroom door, he just smiled and kissed my nose. That last night, even though I had made a mess of everything around me from the constant spray of three-weeks worth of God-knows-what, my boyfriend made me his famous Chicken Noodle Soup from scratch and gave me a foot rub. That this morning, as he left for work, he gently kissed my forehead and wished me a happy anniversary, and that our plans we had been making for weeks would be better suited for the weekend, anyway, when I was feeling like myself again.

You don't have to tell me that I'm lucky; I already know.

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