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why oh why is it called the "pack shack"?
August 14, 2003, 11:28 pm

Much illuminated love to my pals in the heart of the blackout. My heart goes out to you folks, seriously.

If the power was out at my house for a good twelve hours, I know I would have at least thirty bruises from trying to bang around my room finding things in the dark. Besides, what can you do in the dark?

Let's see, either go out where everything else is dark, or have sex. I predict A LOT of babies being born on or around May 14th next year. Call it a hunch.

Not all of us can hook up with hot guys who don't speak any English, though. Best of luck with that whole thing.

______________________________________

Went to fiestada's for our Rummikub/Arbor Mist date and was delighted to find her brother, stancovet had joined us before he set off for college. It was thusly decided that we would pass our evening not in the throes of a heated game of tiles, oh no. We celebrated in a very, very special way. First stop: Starbucks for those delectable Chocolate Malt Milkshakes...mmmmm.

Second stop: the Porn Store.

Yes, you see, apparently wee stancovet is trying to build his "porn arsenal" for late night dorm surround sound viewing fests at his college. Why didn't I think of this when I was an RA? It would have been a terrific floor social!

I was a trifle nervous upon entering the store since my previous experience with a naughty store was when I was in college; my roommate, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend decided to go for a laugh. I was kicked out of the store for a giggle fit that left me on the floor, gasping for air. HEY! Nothing is funnier than a red satin banana hammock with googly eyes that's supposed to be an elephant, okay?

My fears were assauged though by a randy group of large women who stampeded through the door and made a lot of noise; surely, they'd muffle any sounds that I would make while glancing at "Thunder Dong."

After spending a considerable amount of time poring over the goods, fiestada and I just took to pointing at DVDs and laughing at the titles (among my favorites: Witness for the Penetration, Pussy Chow, and The Bitches of Madison County). Stancovet was about to make a selection when the owner informed us that the credit card machine wasn't working, so it was a cash only transaction.

Yeah, like I want the fact that I purchased Intercourse with the Vampire showing up on my bank statement.

Anyway, having no cash, we hightailed it out of there in time to catch the ending of the "Amazing Race 4" and to play a game of Phase 10 (the fast-paced rummy card game with an exciting twist!) and to drink blackberry Arbor Mist out of fiestada's Boordi Vineyard glasses. Alas, there was no porn to be had, but I was tickled that David and Jeff won the second-to-last leg of the race.

I know there's going to be a field day of google hits on this entry. *sigh* ______________________________________ UPDATE (much in the style of those Unsolved Mysteries episodes where they find the missing person or whatever and put it on a rerun) from stancovet: "The Bitches of Madison County: PURCHASED."

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