April 08, 2004, 6:37 pm
A few unanswered questions I have swimming in my head right now:
1. Why are "they" saying that Kurt Cobain was the voice of "my" generation?
Who decided this? Don't people know that Kurt Cobain was a lot older than me when he died, thereby excluding his voice from being really "heard" by anyone other than every angst-ridden teenager awash in the burgenoning grunge movement (the trend here, alas, didn't hit until later '92 because we were all still reeling from NWA and songs of the HipHoppiest beat) EW and Rolling Stone critics that wanted to seem cutting edge? I felt the same way then as I do now that Kurt's deification has nothing to do with has impact at large (too many musical genres that were dead before the Singles soundtrack hit record stores) but more post-modernist nostalgia. Yeah, I remember where I was, dammit. I can't believe it's been ten years. Hear, hear, MagPie. Forgive me, Fiestada.
2. What do I say when I'm confronted thusly: "Ms. B., is it true you're not going to be here next year?"
I want to tell the truth, I do. I want them to know. I want them to make a big deal and cry and throw me a party. A smidgen of me even wants them to refuse to ever participate in anything here ever again and I don't care if that makes me the most selfish human being on the planet. I'm affected that I'm leaving, and I want them to be, too...but I want them all to hear from me at once. I want them all to be there and tell them in my own way ("Molly, you in danger, girl"). I want them to hear from me, not from some idle chatter in the faculty lounge.
My biggest fear has always been (besides clogged toilets) being forgotten; I don't want the mark I've put here in three years to fade. Is that stupid, childish and self-centered? Uh, yeah, but it's me, so what do you want?
3. What the hell am I doing now?
I'm going to England, I'm going to drink a lot, and I'm going to avoid peeing in my pants again. As best I can. That's the game plan so far...
4. Anyone within the sound of my voice, what are YOU doing tomorrow night?
If you're in town, Fiestada won a FREE Happy Hour at Have a Nice Day Cafe at Power Plant Live. Email me for details, eh?
5. And if you've been leaving notes in my guestbook for oh, say the past two months, I just read it all today because I haven't been getting those emails that tell me I have messages. SO SORRY.