they're just jealous because i got some and they didn't
January 03, 2003, 8:04 pm
The following is the conversation that greeted me upon entering our bar on Thursday night. *cue background noise and appropriately smug faces of five friends who SO know what is coming upon my entrance*
Uh, Jess? Are you missing a pair of pantyhose? (notice this statement precedes any sort of socially acceptable salutation or greeting)
*insert crimson hue of face here* Yes.
*again, cue smug friends' faces*
I know where you can find them. Richie's roommate, Jason, well, he found them under his bed. I work with him. He told me.
*insert astonished look on my face*Um, I didn't know he had a roommate.
*cue canned hysterical laughter from aforementioned smug friends*Oh yeah. He says you have beautiful breasts.
*Editor's Note: When hooking up with a guy, make sure you a) know he has a roommate and b) have the good sense to NOT sleep naked in the guy's bed to avoid the peeping eyes of the guy's roommate if he's there anyway.*
He told me his roommate was out of town, but upon entering the room and finding out that wasn't the case, we were relegated to the...
Closet floor, huh?
*insert embarrassed sigh* Uh, yeah.
*cue loud, derisive laugh from gentleman to my left*Closet floor?!?! How come you wouldn't have sex with me on the closet floor when we were together?
(the requisite bartender joins the conversation) Jess, did you take it in the ass?*Please note: the ONLY person in the world permitted to speak to me in this manner is my bartender, Skip. Anyone else would be castrated and/or sucker punched.*
*cue me, stammering*...
*cue Skip plunking down a margarita in front of me*That's my girl!
Dammit. The best thing about having a New Year's hook up is that a) everyone is jealous of you because you got some when they didn't and b) you get to hash out all the gory details. By the time I got to the bar, EVERYONE knew what had transpired and I didn't even get to hide behind a veil of mystery and/or coy flirtaciousness. Humph.
What did you do on your New Year's Eve?