a required taste for the pretentious as all get out





rock star cicada-free slumber party only three weeks away
June 01, 2004, 10:16 pm

I was going to journal through some rage on how, five minutes before Thespian Inductions, a irrationally upset parent cornered me and screamed at me because his daughter, who was a senior, wasn't seated on stage. Nevermind that the girl didn't show up for ONE meeting that we had this year NOR did she participate in a GODDAMN thing we did, but...

I am a hollow reed, I am a hollow reed, this kind of shit cannot bother me, I am a hollow reed, I am a halloween. (Ten points to another who gets that allusion.)

The point I'm trying to make is this: there are ninety bajillion nice things that people do in any given day, and what makes the news? Bad things, Super Bad Things and Heartwrenchingly Terrible Things. What shadows my entire evening? Not that twenty kids, whom I love, came up to me and said, "Ms. B. Thank you. I love you. You did so much work. I appreciate it, etc." but that one parent who was wrong and threatened to call the school board. AND I WILL DWELL ON IT ALL NIGHT LONG!

The cicadas are starting to die, and I'm wondering if these goggle-eyed freaks have the right idea: sleep, wake up, screw, and then die. Very, very easy, pretty cool life. Studying the bugs as they couple on sidewalks and then get smashed by windshields, I have realized that my life is too short to concentrate on the bad things, so as of right now I'm going to make an effort to change my worrisome ways. Let's only worry about the good things! To wit, I offer the Jessica Biensoul I-Want-To-Party-Like-A-Rock-Star-Cicada Plan for Life:

1. No longer will I rise at 5:15a.m. I have no reason to set my alarm so early when I usually just freak out for a half an hour in bed anyway. Sleep in!

2. I do not deserve anyone's rudeness, nor do I deserve people being mean to me; therefore, if anyone exhibits any of the aforementioned behavior, I will say my piece, dismiss myself from the situation, and then either call fiestada to listen about her day (and not prattle on about mine), drink a beer, or both.

3. Drink. Drink to remember, drink to forget, drink to forget that I remembered. Only do so if supervised by raucous and fun friends.

4. Buy lots and lots of shoes. Ahhh, they make me so fucking happy. Is this sad?

5. Watch The Office on DVD daily.

6. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex.

7. Did I mention sleep in?

8. I would say eat whatever I want, but I'm finding it's a little more satisfying to say, "Uh, I want to eat you, Mr. Chocolate Chip Cookie and all your fattening friends conveniently snuggled next to you in this package, but I'm not going to" and then not doing it then to actually eating Mr. Chocolate Chip Cookie, all of his friends, and then staring at the package and back at my hands and at the package again. I'm still finding the ice cream bars a bit hard to let go of, though. I'm working on it.

9. "Do it, England!" THREE WEEKS FROM TODAY! I'm SO going to England, man. Healing powers RIGHT HERE.

I'm sure there are more things that I need to remind myself to do more often. For now, I'll settle for these nine. Rock on.

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