hold your ears
February 25, 2003, 7:20 pm

I was q-n-a-ed. Go there to read a bunch of questions and answers you knew anyway.

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Okay, so, this weekend? Slept rarely, partied often, had a blast. I'm paying dearly for it now.

I hate to say it, but I'm far too tired to write right now.

I haven't eaten at all today (no time); I'm making something in the microwave as I type-fall asleep.

I didn't go to duty because I was in another meeting.

I found myself losing my temper at kids backstage today when they didn't really deserve it.

I also found that other people are saying things like, "Hey, are you okay?" and "You just don't seem yourself lately" to me over the past two days. All I've wanted to say to these well-meaning people has been: FUCK THE FUCK OFF, PEOPLE! I'M FUCKING TIRED AND STRESSED AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU CAN REALLY DO TO HELP IT WOULD BE TO LEAVE ME ALONE BECAUSE I HAVE A TON OF SHIT TO DO OR TO TEACH MY FUCKING CLASSES AND GRADE MY FUCKING PAPERS AND REHEARSE THE FUCKING PLAYS AND FIGURE OUT TIMES TO MAKE IT UP AND CALL THE MAKE-UP PEOPLE BECAUSE THE FUCKING ORDER ISN'T HERE YET AND IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS AND STAMP MY BOOKS AND SPEND EVERY NIGHT AT SCHOOL UNTIL 10:14pm BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T FUCKING SAY NO TO PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU'RE NICE AND IT DOESN'T INVOLVE LISTENING TO YOU BE CONCERNED ABOUT ME BECAUSE I'M NOT MYSELF.

Um, thanks. I needed that. I'm not a nasty person, not really, and it's my fault I'm stressed. I always bite off more than I can chew and/or screw myself over in the process. I didn't mean to yell so loudly.

Okay, I did, but I feel better. And I still love you.