a required taste for the pretentious as all get out





my summer vacation
September 02, 2006, 11:42 pm

My Summer Vacation
by Jessica Lynn Biensoul

I did many things on my summer vacation. First, I went to a class on rhetoric, where I learned that anaphora is a literary device used by authors that repeats the beginning words in sentences. I learned, and was relieved to learn, that Richard Dawson is still alive. I learned that Match Game can be viewed on GSN four times daily. I learned how to drive a 15-person passenger van. I learned that British people are very slow. I learned that I suck at break-ups. I learned that moving home, to my parents' house, is alternately the most humiliating thing and the best thing I can do ever. I learned that one of my good friends can read tarot cards, and I'm in a volatile place. I learned that I really, really like dogs. I learned that I need a vacation from vacations. I learned that just about everyone I know has had or will have a baby in one calendar year. I learned that the best person I am all day is the person in the classroom. I learned I cannot change people. I learned that I will never be able to keep my room clean. I learned that despite appearances, I can dance. I learned that some of the most painful parts of breaking up with someone is that hole in the bed beside you and that hole in your stomach whereyou used to feel whole. I learned that I will be okay. I learned that my students miss me when we're not in school. I learned that when confronted without the burdens of O.C.D. rituals and relationships, I turn back into a workaholic who spends way too much time at school. I learned that I can throw away papers that are four years old; those kids have graduated, and they're not coming back to get them. I learned that if you say, "I'd like four tickets to Snakes On a Muthafuckin' Plane" to the ticket window guy, he'll laugh. I also learned that if he says it back to you, he'll get fired. I learned that I miss everyone, whether or not I've talked to them in ten years. I learned that I'm crafty with invitations and the like. I learned that my wedding will never be perfect, or perhaps even existent, but damn, it would be a hell of a party. I learned that I have too much, too much to change and learn.

That is my essay on what I did this summer.

last - next