my favorite chocolates are me flavored
February 14, 2004, 11:50 am
When single on Valentine's Day, it's important to note that of the 7 million happy couples surrounding you, only 5.6 million of them are happy. The other 1.4 million are miserable and will try to supplement their mounting dislike for one another by buying each other crappy, impersonal gifts. *sigh* That thought always makes me feel better.
I have big plans for today. As a Valentine's Gift for myself, I have decided to thoroughly scrub my bathroom. I will put on Outkast, shake my ass, don my supersexy robe with my fuzzy hot slippers, and scrub the hell out of my toilet. Afterwards, I will devour an entire heart of Whitman's chocolates from my mom, watch Notting Hill, and then go spend time with my Valentine, fiestada. Hey, I know how to celebrate myself!
Furthermore, I know how to throw a party. Currently, there are two ridiculously hungover and passed out people sleeping in my house as a result of a cast karaoke party that stretched until 6:00am this morning. Until you've heard me break down Eminem's "Lose Yourself", complete with drunken slurring and sloshing 12%Beer stein with mindblowing speed, you have simply not experienced the best that life has to offer.
Wayne, he of the rapist fame in Extremities, continued to play DJ well after the singing stopped; in raiding my ancient cd collection, he divulged my dirtiest listening secrets: NKOTB? You bet. "Highway to the Danger Zone" on full blast? Mmmmhmmmm. Mariah Carey's "Dreamlover"? Oh, sing it. Pretty soon, I was not only giggling along with everyone else, but jumping and shuffling my way through all the choreography I had assigned to these songs when I was ten. My knees are killing me.
Happy Valentine's Day, all. Hug yourself first.