so, what now?
December 14, 2004, 7:50 am

"What would you say if I asked you if I could kiss you?"

What would I say?!?! WHAT WOULD I SAY?!?! Uh, "yes."

Little did I know what would transpire afterwards, but just know that I'm okay, he's okay, we're all okay. We're okay in that way when you kiss someone expecting bells and whistles, you get a nice, cozy feeling. A "I'm kissing someone I love" feeling.

"Jessica, I love you."

"I love you, too."

"No, I LOVE you."

"I love you!"

"Do me a favor, B."

"What's that?"

"Don't."

Oh hell.

The truth is, we talked last night, for a looooooooooong time, and three things happened:

1. We kissed. It was really, really nice.

2. He told me he knew I liked him "like that"; he's known for a while. He likes me, too.

3. We decided that nothing is going to happen because, well, he's in love with someone else. It's not fair. To be honest, my feelings were wavering a bit with the date tonight, and...I'll stop making excuses. We decided, and I mean "we" that really, neither one of us wants anything to change.

He is a sweet kisser, though. It was...nice. I thought the earth would explode and...it didn't. It was weird. We just cuddled and decided we loved each other and that was that.

I am never, ever talking about boys again.