hot virus action!
August 15, 2002, 11:06 p.m.

The past few days have been kind of hectic.

Apparently, those emails that said "Happy Assumption" from strange people I didn't know were virus carriers that attacked address books (why I was in these address books, I have no clue). About 17 angry emails from friends and colleagues and many visits to the virus-removal website later, I'm happy to report that my computer is virus-free. It doesn't sound like most people have had any major meltdowns, so that is a welcome relief.

It was kind of embarrassing to send out the news that I might have been responsible (not on purpose, mind you) for nearly erasing every file on the computer of everyone I know and casually email.

It's the technology equivalent of calling all of your ex-lovers after discovering you have an STD.

"Um, hi. Yeah, it's been a while. Good, good. You? Well, just wanted to uh, tell you, that uh, have you been tested recently for any STDs? Really? Negative, huh? That's great."

My email went something like this:

Um, hi. Yeah, I know you haven't gotten any email from me in what, like 6 months? I know we haven't spoken since that really awkward last date, but has your computer gotten checked for any new viruses lately? Yeah? You have Norton Anti-Virus? Well, see, that won't work. This virus eats it. Yeah. Yeah. Check out this website. Hope it works out for you. Yeah, thanks. Bye.