dear santa 2003
December 24, 2003, 10:27 am
Dear Santa,
I know you're busy. Ridiculously busy, even, but I have a few requests for some friends that I need you to deliver under some trees tomorrow.
Oh no, Santa, they're not for me. They're for some other people who I think need these things...well, you'll see:
1. For Fiestada, please give her a bandaid and some super glue to heal a broken heart, a healthy dose of the trust in humanity she's lost, and if there's any way you can swing Season One of Chapelle's Show on DVD, that would be sweet.
2. For TranceJen, a woman whom I adore and respect very much, please leave for her all the things she's asked for this year with an extra heap of steamy hot chocolate and a pack of Virginia Slims Menthol.
3. For Dave, my superior friend, please give him his own room. Oh, and a really nice girlfriend who would treat him really well and be dynamite in the sack would be nice for him, too.
4. For CuppaJoe, a big ol' hug and kiss, Santa-style, and a reprieve on the whole he-can't-drink-beer thing.
5. For Spanklin, an assortment for adorable, pedicured feet in flowery flip-flops and Jimmy Choos at his disposal.
6. For Cruel-Irony, a paddle to whup Leebozeebo's ass.
7. For Leebozeebo, a bunch of wussy drinks he'd rather drink than beer.
8. For Sundry, the financial resources to simply write for a living, or to just play with dog everyday. And another darlin' hubby. (I realize this request is a bit selfish, Santa, because then I can run off with JB. Rrrowr.)
9. For Weetabix, the ability to get my Christmas cards out on time, and an increased credit limit on her LB card.
10. For KatSlater, all the American pretzels she can eat.
11. For the Beermates, a mad, phat party that lasts for nine days and limitless supplies of 12% Beer.
12. For S-M-R, I'd like you to bring him the knowledge that he is one of the kindest human beings on the planet.
13. For StanCovet, the directorial reigns of a Troop Beverly Hills musical (starring the entire original cast).
14. And lastly Santa, I'd like you to bring me peace of mind. I want to know, Santa, that I'm doing the right things; I want to know that I'm okay. Mostly, I want to recognize I'm headed in the right direction. Oh, and a gift certificate to Sputnik would be great, too. And a Todd Heap jersey.
Thank you for your consideration,
Jessica L. Biensoul