secret santa...bah humbug!
December 23, 2003, 10:11 am

So our friend Kerry, who is a doll, came up with the brilliant idea to run a Secret Santa exchange for everyone to cut costs this Christmas. Right. Like a Secret Santa is going to help because, quite frankly, I'm still going to buy gifts for all my friends and all the Secret Santa will do is probably create another gift I have to buy for someone I wasn't planning on getting a gift for in the first place.

My fears were confirmed when Dave let me know that I had drawn (through his hand) Ron's name. RON? Good Lord, I speak to Ron less than I speak to Richie every year. Anyway, so Dave went and volunteered to get Ron his Secret Santa present, from me, but there's a price I must pay. Here, look at the email:

In exchange for your soul I will personally handle Ron's Secret Santa present. Just bring me a gift tag filled out from you to Ron. My people will handle the rest. Please read the following and sign on the dotted line, thereby completing your transaction.

"I, Jessica L. Biensoul do hereby pledge my soul to one David J. Blulinepaper (heretoafter referred to as "Broker of Souls - Minion of Darkness") in exchange for one or more satisfactory Christmas presents to be deliverd to Ronald D. on the 26th of December, 2003. *All souls are non-returnable. Broker of Souls, Inc. is not responsible for any souls that are lost or broken. Please drink responsibly.

...................

(Jessica L. Biensoul)

Sincerely,

David Blulinepaper

Broker of Souls, Minion of Darkness

Why must my friends be so freakin' entertaining? WHY?!? Also, why must my friends be brokers of souls?

_________________________________________________

Phone Call, Just Now:

"Oh Jessica, I love you, too. And I'm so interested in your career. Please keep us informed."

The wheels are a-turnin', kids. Rich gave me a book on revamping my resume for Christmas. Come June (after my England trip to KatSlater's, this bird is flying the coop and seeking employment elsewhere. Anyone in the market for a sassy, energetic, binge-drinking pseudo-writer who loves margaritas and pie?