a required taste for the pretentious as all get out





everything you've ever wanted to know about biensoul, but were afraid to ask!
May 12, 2006, 8:09 pm

1. What is your name?

Jessi, Ms. Biensoul if you're nasty.

2. What is your quest?

Ha! That's pretty funny. Probably to rid the world of unspeakable evil, which I'd be happy to discuss with you, but can't. You know, unspeakable evil. I'd also like to think I'm making a positive difference in the minds of impressionable youth, but I get proved wrong on that front too often.

3. Birthdate?

August 4, 1978. That would make me 27 right about now (the funk soul brother).

4. You live...

In Annapolis, Maryland. I was born here, raised in where I teach, went to Towson University, and now I live here in 'Naptown again. It's come full circle. I am currently torn between two residences: Ilive at home with my parents, my sisters, and my grandmother, which many would consider lame, but that's only because they haven't seen my house. I also psuedo-live with my boyfriend, Thumper, who has recently pseudo-kicked me out due to needing time to find himself, blah blah blah. It's cool. I painted the dining room before I left, so I'm not worried.

5. So, uh, what are you wearing?

Probably work clothes or pajamas...or just underwear. Hey, YOU'RE asking the questions!

6. Why did you become a teacher?

A few reasons: one, I wanted to go back to high school. I LOVED my high school. I wanted to give other people the same experience that I had, and I wanted to share my love of literature, theatre, and writing with "my people." I also had some terrific teachers that always seemed to enjoy their jobs, so I wanted to emulate them; I had some crappy teachers who I swore I would never be like, so I'm doing it because of those people, too. I never realized it was such a difficult profession.

7. Your number is?

My favorite number is 4; my number is 9.

8. Why this?

I'm egocentric. Things don't interest me if they don't deal directly with me, so I get to self-indulge here but letting the whole world in on my life, and I get to keep up with my writing as best I can.

9. You seem to have a lot of weight issues. Why is that?

I gained a lot of weight after high school, but it wasn't as if I didn't expect to; to be honest, I never really noticed it until I saw a picture of myself 80 lbs. heavier than I had been and said, "SHIT! I GOT FAT!" Trust me, I've never been thin. I'm forever thinking about it as it is a part of me and who I am: like Alice Walker is black or how Booga is from Carolina. Will I do anything about it? I'd like to think so; I lose 10 lbs. here and then gain 20. It's ugly business, and no matter how many times I issue the "never again" edict, it always comes back to sting me like so many jellyfish.

10. And you're in love?

Yep. You see, Thumper and I have history and we have that delightful, playful kind of "I want to annoy you forever and always" type of thing going. It works for us. Being a Disney-girl and a complete sap, I'd like to think it's forever and ever, amen. I think if you'd ask him, he'd like to think so, too, if circumstances were perfect (which they are not). It's an odd conundrum. I'll definitely keep you posted.

11. Why are these questions so boring? You're not a boring person.

Perhaps I should spice them up a little? Add a few more? Change some of the answers? Audience? What's your diagnosis?

12. Top three favorite songs, GO!

Uh, "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" by Billy Joel, "What a Good Boy" by Barenaked Ladies, and "Emaline" by Ben Folds Five.

13. What's your idea of heaven?

The Crease, all my friends hanging around, no school to worry about the next day, Skip tending bar, and hot shoes.

14.Did you really take a shit in your sister's bathtub?

Yep. That was me.

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