babies and the terps
April 1, 2002, 8:38 p.m.

There has to be a mistake. My spring break can't be over.

As psyched as I am that it's MONDAY and it's the MARYLAND GAME, I really don't want to go to school tomorrow.

Most students think that teachers LOVE going back to school after breaks. Not true. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. It's like going to the gym. I'm fine once I'm there, but I just don't want to go.

GO TERPS! GO TERPS! YAY! YAY! YAY!

I'm skittish and unfocused, and it makes me feel bad to read really good diaries because I'm afraid I'll never measure up. Take Booga, for example. Her diary rocks, and I feel outwitted and inadequate. My diploma means nothing.

My Yaya wanted me to go with her to Scotland this week, and I had to turn her down because I had to work. Apparently, my cousin decided TWO DAYS ago that he couldn't be bothered to go with his family on a trip that they've been planning for five months. My parents would have said, "Uh, You're GOING...end of story." My aunt and uncle chuckled, slapped him on the back, and ate the $1573 plane ticket.

I'm not a parent, but man, I'd be steamed.

Speaking of being parents, I had lunch today with two of my friends who are pregnant. Two women who are both a) married, b) pregnant, and c) 23-24 years old. I thought I was feeling sorry for myself earlier when I was a little down, but I'm really just sorry for them. Here I am, drinking like a fish, meeting strange men in bars, sleeping with exboyfriends at will, while they are at "home" with their husbands watching Must See TV and making meatballs in giant containers because they freeze well. They're making house payments and massaging their own feet and glowing while I'm being a hellcat and trying to pay my bar tab. I'm not ready for their lives, but I will be some day. Their opportunity for my life passed the day they said "I do."

I'm happy that I can experience the best of both worlds!

Off to watch MARYLAND play...GO TERPS!