the bank teller
February 10, 2006, 4:16 pm

"Miss Biensoul, were you aware you account is currently overdrawn?"

"Yes," I say, dabbing lip gloss, remembering seeing something along the lines of my account being overdrawn by abou $30 last time I checked.

"Were you aware of the amount?"

"Not really." I want to leave. I have places to go and money to get, and I have to leave.

"Your account is currently overdrawn $457.00."

"WHAT?!?!"

"Is that a surprise to you?"

"Um," I stammer, "Yes?"

"Do you have a few minutes to come in and talk to an account representative?"

"Um, no," I say because, quite frankly, if I do, I know I will cry and I can't handle it today. I speed off (without my license, I have to go back to get it sometime later, like maybe when that woman and her kids and grandkids have all passed away, or something).

I mentally break down everything purchased in the past two weeks. NOTHING is adding up...until I think about the groceries, the plane tickets, the $825.00 I paid off in student loans and the $500.00 I paid off to my credit card. I paid Lane Bryant $200.00 and my car insurance $200.00 and I also bought Chinese food. I had my swag for Weetapiecon delivered and my tiaras ordered and my life all turning out to be okay. I owe the government close to $6,000.

So now I am sitting on the couch in the fetal position, wondering how to break it to fiestada that I not only can't afford a ticket to the play tonight, but I also can't afford gas to get to her house.

When do I grow up and accept responsibility for this kind of stuff? REALLY? It's not like it's hard to get this stuff in order.