troy is the problem
January 23, 2002, 5:28 p.m.

Troy is the problem, of course, not me.

How can I possibly be the problem? I am bright, funny, sassy, and full of whimsy and intrigue. I am everything that anyone would want...anyone except him, apparently.

He said, "It's her."

OF COURSE it's her problem. One doesn't date a noted sociopath for four and a half years and then slip away quietly as one is faced with the fact that the person one didn't want one's love to date is suddenly dating that love. It's so simple!

He said, "I'm not ready."

Oh Troy, how can I fault you? You were honest, kind, and direct. You were empathetic when I explained that I had been vomiting on the English dept. restroom floor all afternoon, much to the listening pleasure of the student aides in the office. You were patient as I poured my heart out and told you that although we'd only been seriously together for all of 13 days, I felt something enormous and important welling inside of me at the thought of seeing you again. You were sincere when you let me down gently, confirming all those fears you batted away when we first decided to do this.

He said, "I want to stay friends."

Troy, as much as I adore, respect, and consider you my friend, I can't do this right now.