get out of bed
February 10, 2002, 4:18 p.m.
I spent yesterday in bed.
It scared the shit out of me.
In college I would spend days in bed, only getting up at night to order chinese food and pay for it; I learned a year later that my behavior meant that I was clinically depressed. I hate it when people talk about it because I don't buy into all those mental disorders, not really, but yesterday it started again. I could feel my seratonin level DROP and I was afraid to put on clothes and put my feet on the floor. I was afraid to do anything but stare at my messy closet and be mad at myself for letting the day slip away.
Brad: Are you in bed?
Brad: Have you gotten out of bed?
Me: Once. I had to pee.
Brad: You're coming out with us. Get out of bed. Take a shower. Right now.
Brad: Jess, do it.
I think I let myself get this way as an avoidance of failure tactic. Either that, or I'm EXTREMELY lazy.
National Pistachio Day is Thursday. A time to celebrate with all the friends that one has who aren't married or dating, and who all believe that Valentine's Day is a crock of shit...and who wouldn't think that if they were involved with someone.