a required taste for the pretentious as all get out





clutter queen gives up her throne
May 25, 2004, 10:42 pm

There's something you should know about me before we get further involved. I'm not proud of this thing, but it's a part of who I am and, despite my stubborn attempts and re-attempts to end it, it's not going anywhere.

Quite frankly, I'm a slob.

Oh, I'm not DIRTY, but I'm the most unorganized wretch that ever wandered into Office Depot searching for salvation, only to spend $100 on stuff that just clutters a corner. I have lovely Bed, Bath, and Beyond shoe organizers that hang solemnly and empty in my closet with a pile of mis-mated shoes mocking them from below. My tweezers are on my dresser along with a month's worth of bills, three pictures from my aunt that I have YET to hang (from Christmas, mind you), and every necklace I've worn in the past six weeks (without hanging them back up in the jewelry box which is apparently on my dresser, but buried under stuff so much I can't get to it). There are pairs of pants in convenient "step in" formation (right in the places I managed to step out of them), pictures I was sorting into piles for scrapbooking purposes in April, and all of my video collection that I had started organizing recently, but was sidetracked in the middle of doing so.

You would think it would end there, that I could keep up appearances at work, but OH NO, it doesn't end at home. At work, I have taken over my desk AND CNET's desk with boxes of STUFF (I don't know what most of it is, but it's TERRIBLY important); I have six desks and ALL of them are in various states of disorder, from falling cascades of papers to rainbow folders that scream out, "Please, Jessi, just use us and see how your life would be SO MUCH BETTER!" Cabinets in the back of my classroom are home to rumpled construction paper, old projects I don't have the heart to throw away, and a Power Ranger mask and lightsaber (your guess is as good as mine).

It's not that I don't care, I do. It's not that I'm a scatterbrai--oh wait, I am. It's just that EVERYTHING else is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT all the time instead of organizing it.

One day, when my life is perfect, I will be organized, but until that day comes, I'm checking myself into "CLUTTER REHAB" and I will try, REALLY, REALLY try to make my life more organized.

If I fail, well, you'll still love me, right? I mean, something's got to that I have no more to give, I guess that means me. *sigh*

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