don't call me ma'am
April 21, 2003, 3:22 pm
I'm really trying to be good, I promise you. I don't mean to exude sexual vivacity wherever I go, but it happens. Blame it on the Stephanie Plum trashy mystery novels, but today I had a flirtacious epiphany.
I had just sauntered into Maggie Moo's (wait for the lecture; I didn't get my pint, I got a small cone; look, I'm trying, but these things have to be done gradually. You can't just quit a smack/ice cream habit cold turkey; there's a detox process involved!), and I was about to order my small raspberry chocolate cone, and the guy behind the counter...*shiver* MMMMMmmmm.
Okay, so he was probably all of 18 or 19, but ooh.
Seriously, he was leaning against the counter and he put his head on his forearms, like a little kid. He flashed me this smile, and I thought right then that a million watts of electricity coursed through me. Not to mention his baby blues...wow, piercing. He was shooting a look right through me. I turned around to make sure he was flashing those bedroom eyes at me. It was INTENSE.
It's the hair; definitely the hair. Guys may say they love long hair, but a girl sporting a cute shoulder length bob, that's adorable.
He made me my cone, and as he handed it to me he said, "There you go, Ma'am, have a terrific day."
Hold up.
Ma'am? Ma'am.
WHEN THE HELL DID I BECOME A "MA'AM"?!?!
Ma'am is Yaya, Mom, and my Aunt Carol. Ma'am is what I called customers with blue hair, fresh from the beauty parlor. Ma'am is soccer mom, not vibrant 24 year old with rocking personality and naughty bedroom proclivities. Ma'am is someone who would rather be watching Sandra Bullock romantic comedies rather than Roger Dodger. I AM NOT A MA'AM!
Shame on you, Jeff the Maggie Moo ice cream slinger, for calling me Ma'am.
Seen in the parking lot on the way out from Maggie Moo's:
1. a sign in the back window of a car that read "the driver of this car is engaged in delivering Bell Atlantic Phone Books!"
2. a whole ice cream cone smashed on the asphalt
3. a preppy looking blonde Annapolitan, resplendent in his navy blue bathrobe
And you thought YOU were having a weird day...