holiday magic
December 18, 2006, 7:36 pm

This morning when you woke up, you knew it would be magical. You got excited as you picked up your bags and headed to school a little late, but not bothered by whatever the day was going to throw your way. Your cell phone blinked and it's a text message and your heart gets a bit blippy, and it's him and you're excited for a few breathless moments because you feel like you're 12.

So you get to school, and it's still not time for class, and you go to your classroom to set up for the day. You turn on the light and you notice that, suspended from the ceiling, there are paper snowflakes hanging over your desk. They are cut out of paper like a kiddie-scissors class does with paper snowflakes, and it was clear they were supposed to be separated, but they're all tangled, which makes it even nicer. On your desk is 300 Hershey's kisses on tissue paper because your desk is too messy to accommodate them all without it, and a book, and a card, and it's too much to handle.

So you sit and you cry at your desk because a year ago you were making excuses for someone else at this time of year, and this year, you could actually introduce someone at the family Christmas party.

You're high.

You listen to the little things in conversations, and you don't care if it's not relevant, but you find different ways to sneak a new name in. You're beaming ear-to-ear like a freak at the lunch table and you're begging to have him bump his leg into yours, if only for a second, because when he does, it's nice.

You go to the bookstore to buy gifts, and when you meander to the card aisle, the prospect of picking out a sweet, lovey-dovey Christmas card doesn't make you want to throw up in your mouth a little bit. You feel, finally, that you're getting what you deserve because he loves football like you do, he watches movies like you do, he's a good son and uncle and teaches Special Ed.; most of all, though, he loves to see you happy, and if this is how it starts, you're looking forward to see how it keeps going. Even if it ends, you're in the right place at the right time, and even the fact that he's a Steelers fan can't make your heart stop racing.

Who says a little Snowflake magic doesn't exist?