a required taste for the pretentious as all get out





the most expensive perfume in the world
September 16, 2002, 11:49 pm

I had to say goodbye to a good friend. We decided to say goodbye in a public place, so there wouldn't be too much of a scene. There were a lot of tears (all mine) as I carefully took my belongings back from her and she sent me on my way to find a new friend to replace her...

Yes, the Festiva (a.k.a. the pregnant roller skate) is gone, but not forgotten.

The mechanic that has raised her called me this afternoon before last period and told me the bad news. An errant spark plug was severed and reamed into the engine; in all his years of mechanics, he said, he'd never seen anything quite like it.

Leave it to the Festiva to find a DIVA way to make her exit; she didn't have to rest for "exhaustion" a la Britney, but she had the full-on collapse and offering people oil-covered ice cream a la Mariah Carey. Diva to the last...

I removed 9 pairs of shoes from her trunk. I was wondering where they had all escaped to. I picked out t-shirts that had been long since forgotten and a humidifier that had never been opened. She thrummed a sigh as my fingers caressed her wheel one last time as a goodbye.

I sobbed all the way to the Hyundai dealership.


A bought a new car.

A new car.

As in, not anyone else's before it was mine.

It had 17 miles on it when I signed the papers. I drove it around Bay Ridge, downtown Annapolis, and around the beltway to Towson and Cockeysville to pimp it out for my friends. It now has about 163 miles on it.

It has a sunroof! CD player! It's sleek and sexy and this pretty blue/green/steel color (called "ocean blue") that's pretty damn sharp.

It's a 2002 Hyundai Elantra; fully loaded. It's SWEET.

It's also a grown-up car. No more dents or rebellious bumperstickers. No more not caring about shopping carts that careen into the side of the car. No more Ludacris pumping on the...oh, wait, I DID play Ludacris in the car. At least my music is still young.

I will be paying this off until I'm 30.

I never thought paying $14,228 for ANYTHING would be considered "getting a deal", but this is. I'm really old now.

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