a required taste for the pretentious as all get out





aka the conversation
July 29, 2002, 2:44pm

Conversation on porch last night: (all statements were made when both parties involved were completely hammered on Bud Light of all things)

*** ******* ***********

Him: I'm 24; I'm old. I want a wife, and kids, but it's almost too late for that.

Me: WHAT?!?

Him: I will move to L.A. In L.A. there are the most morally flexible people on the planet; I'm not going to find a wife there, so what? I sacrifice a family--the only thing I've ever really wanted---for a career?

Me: Do you realize that right now you sound like every single woman in the world?

*** ************ ***************

Him: I don't know if she's out there.

Me: Oh come on, I know that I'm never going to settle.

Him: Every woman I meet is going to be held against her.

Me: Every man I meet is held against you, so?

Him: But we were kids...

Me: Stop it...

Him: You know that wasn't real...

Me: (shouting) Yes it was! It was real! I could feel it!

Him: It was movies: every sense of love that we've all had since birth has come from some money-hungry studio exec that wants to make even more money, so he makes "When Harry Met Sally" he makes "Sleepless in Seattle"'s "Shakespeare in Love"...none of it is real!

Me: It was real for me, and I know I'll never feel it again because when you fall in love for the first time you just fall; every time after you're much more guarded.

*** **************** ****************

Him: So, who am I?

Me: I don't understand the question.

Him: What do I project, who am I to the rest of the world?

Me: *lengthy analysis of his character and how the world perceives him; peppered with the obiligatory nice comments mixed in with the truth*

*** ***************** ****************

Me: Quid Pro Quo

Him: I have to go to bed.

Me: Hey! Who am I? What do I project?

Him: *getting up to leave porch* You'll be fine, Jess, you'll be a great wife and a great mother. You'll be fine.

Me: But what do I project to the rest of the world? What's good about ME?

Him: Goodnight, Jess.

Me: HEY! I answered that question for you! Tell me!

Him: I shouldn't have to tell you that. Goodnight, Jess. Sleep tight.

I don't think he's ever known me well enough to answer what's good about me, and I don't think he minds all that much.

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