i have of late, but wherefore i know not, lost all my mirth
May 11, 2003, 5:34 pm

I am no good to anyone today.

I have spent the day in the following manner: in panda pjs, watching various MST3K episodes from my snazzy Vol. 2 DVD collection, and participating in my old-lady hobby that everyone makes fun of me for doing.

I made Mom and Yaya cards that had cheesy "IOU dinner" coupons in it because I'm broke until Wednesday; I promised them Sputnik Cafe.

I'm a little hesitant about taking them there; it's my place now. I go there once a week, eating by myself a sumptuous meal that's a) way too decadent and b) way too expensive for just one person. I know the owners now by name, as they do me, and the waitress pretty much recommends things she knows I'd like instead of rattling off the specials. I'm not myself when I am there: I am hassled and stand offish and haughty. I am quiet and resigned and just want to sit near the water, thanks, no need to keep bothering me with much of anything.

Maybe it's the pre-summer blues or something, but I'm no fun right now. Josh called and wanted to do something, but I turned him down. I'd much rather just veg out.

Mom's theory is that I didn't have time to breathe for so long that I want to do absolutely nothing, and she's right. I feel like it's the end of the year at school, and there's no reason to do anything productive. How uneducationally sound of me! (Don't worry; your kids are still in good hands; they're learning...well, doing poetry, and that's cool.)

But summer's coming, and this summer will include trips to Orlando and Vegas, Theatre Arts workshops and MY BIRTHDAY, so that's decent, right?

Right?

I'm going to go drive to shake my funk, yo.