some dance to remember; some dance to forget; some don't remember dancing
June 30, 2003, 2:06 pm

"I just want to say that I'm sorry about the whole table crashing incident...You know the incident where me and Kerry fell into a table, which in turn caused food to fly everywhere, you know as opposed to any other table crashing incidents...Anyway I'm sorry about that....That being said I'd just like to point out that I stuck by my promise to not throw up on myself or tip over any portapotties however you spell that word..."--Mattie (Rich's little bro) via email

Yeah, I forgot about the table crashing.

I am a dynamite hostess pre-party. I get lots and lots of food, lots and lots of beer and alcohol. I set everything up; I often get prizes beforehand to spice up the atmosphere. I organize the brackets for the Beer Pong Tournament, I make sure everyone has a team name.

Then I start drinking and all hell breaks loose because I'm so drunk I can't even take care of myself, let alone my guests, and I end up doing silly things like puking in the stairwell, pooing in my sister's tub, or sleeping with my ex-boyfriend while the guy I brought to my party passes out downstairs. But I do throw kick-ass parties, and everyone always has a great time, so that's the most important thing.

So I'm outside in the stairwell with Joe, prepuking, and I look inside just in time to see several platters of wings and chicken bones, a bowl of pasta salad, and several ramekins of blue cheese dressing go flying across the basement. Apparently, Matt and Kerry were dancing up a storm to whatever mid-90s hip hop tune had been blaring, and in their exuberance managed to desecrate an entire card table full of summer eats. Being the perfect hostess, I entered the house in a hurry to help with the clean-up effort, but found the overturned bowl of chicken pasta salad so hilarious that I ended up face first with the carpet, shaking with laughter. While Matt and Kerry used my Mom's spray Woolite floor cleaner, I continued laughing so hard that the concurrent Pong game stopped to see who the hell was making all that noise.

Driving to school today I have to admit I was a little more than sad when I heard Strong Bad's "Everybody to the Limit" on my mix cd because it made me think of Joe. *sigh* You win some, you lose some, and then you bitch slap the ones you've lost because clearly, they're at fault, not you.

I want a t-shirt that says, "Some dance to remember, some dance to forget, and some don't remember dancing..." I'll pitch it to Joey.

Still have to write up the waxing story, but it's a doozy, Bob, let me tell you.