i'm gonna set my soul on fire
August 02, 2003, 11:10 am
I would love to tell you that I've returned from Las Vegas a millionaire, but then I'd be lying. I could tell you I've returned a thousand-daire, but that's also a lie. I can tell you that I'm a no-money-having-broke-ass-idiot-because-I-spent-all-my-money-on-the-Blackjack-tables-and-Roulette-Wheel and that would be the God's honest truth. Damn you, Vegas!
Actually, I had a freaking blast, although my wallet is considerably lighter. I went with my buddies Rich and Scott, and we turned up the heat on the scorching town, leaving the carcasses of our 54oz. football beers in our wake. Among the highlights:
1. The band LOVE SHACK at the Fremont St. Experience RULED. An 80s tribute band that played a different set list every night, we paid the cab fare just to see them three nights last week. They played my request for House of Pain's "Jump Around", and let me tell you, they're playing my wedding.
2. We drunk dialed our buddies at 2 a.m. (5a.m. Maryland time) and told them that Rich and I were married and had to wait 48 hours for an annulment. Apparently, Dave believed it, broke down Mike's door to tell him, and I received several angry voicemails from Mike, urging me to call Dave and tell him it wasn't true. Heh.
3. Scott doubled down on a 19 (YES, a 19) and hit a 2. The table was impressed.
4. I drank at least 108 ozs of beer a night. Yay, free drinks!
5. I won $80 on roulette, then lost it on the Blackjack table.
6. "Man, at the Bellagio, the dealer was a tool, the waitress was a bitch, so I took their $160." --Scott
7. We lost Scott at Binion's Horseshoe and found him 45 minutes later, crying in a corner. He'd won $60 on a slot machine and then had his wallet raped by the strippers at Glitter Gulch. Oops.
8. When we landed in Baltimore, the flight attendent said, "We made it!" The Southwest flight attendents are some funny folks.
So Vegas was fun. Lots of fun. We're going back next year with Rich's baby brother and my baby sister in tow, as they'll be turning 21 right around that time.
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I had to cancel my 25th birthday party, a TOGA/Animal House party; it was supposed to be tonight.
My sisters threw a party last weekend while everyone was out of town, and it got out of hand. Remember on "Full House" when DJ threw a huge party and all these people she didn't know showed up and trashed the place and Danny, Joey, and Jesse came home early and she was caught? (Um, me neither, but I'm sure every sitcom in the 80s/90s had that plotline sooner or later, so "Full House" is as good as any.) That's exactly what happened with my sisters.
These assholes TRASHED our gorgeous basement. Most notably, they ripped off a panel to our brand new entertainment center that houses our 64" tv to use for a beer pong table (it's now warped to shit); they broke the rotaters on the bar stools my mom built; the backdoor handle was completely ripped from the door; our stairwell sported a million beer cans, hundreds of cigarette butts that "missed" the bucket 2 feet away, and a keg (as did our neighbor's lawn); our bar became a sticky swamp of leftover can mung; most notably, the 35 year old bottle of Crown Royal that my dad was saving to drink at our weddings? They drank it.
Needless to say, the parental units were most displeased. They encouraged me to still have my party because my "friends are so responsible, they'd never do anything like this", but I cancelled it myself because I didn't think we'd get everything repaired in time for my party (I was right; Mom and Dad are in Cali this week; I was in Vegas), and I didn't want my sisters to think that they could invite their friends to my party because they're forbidden to have any of their own (trust me, they'd do it). Boo.
So now I'm not having a TOGA party, which is all I really wanted for my birthday, and I can't have it next weekend because I'll be in Pittsburgh again for ANOTHER wedding.
I sound whiny, and the truth is...I'm scared to death of turning 25. I know it sounds obnoxious, but, uh, I feel like I'm getting too old for how I'm living.
Nevermind, I'm just to go to the movies to see American Wedding. I'll get upset about my birthday later. (It's not until Monday, you know.)