becky was more annoyed than she let on, but i could tell she was pissed
October 20, 2002, 1:27 pm

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a whiny drunk.

"But wait just a darn-tootin' minute there, biensoul!" you may be saying to yourself, "Aren't you the most obnoxious drunk ever? And I'd never say darn-tootin', you crazy bitch!"

Why yes, dear reader, I am pretty obnoxious when I'm blasted, but I'm not a whiny drunk. For examples of an obnoxious drunk, click the red words above, for examples of a whiny drunk, look below.

(Actual conversations held last night while at a friend's birthday party at 4:15am when the majority of people left were either trying to sleep and/or watch The Cutting Edge)

Whiny Drunk: I'm so drunk. I mean, I can't believe she said that! Why? Why would she say that? She's my best friend! No one cares about my problems or my issues! You don't care about me! No one cares about me! I've tried to commit suicide and no one cares!

Becky: Um, I do care, I do care. I just met you tonight, so I feel a little awkward having this conversation with you.

Whiny Drunk: See! You don't care! I'm going to get fatter, you know? I got my belly button pierced when I was thin and now I'm fat and I regret it. It's like, I'm fat, you know?

Becky: Uh, okay.

Whiny Drunk: I mean, everyone has problems in their lives, but mine are so bad. I mean, it's not everyday that your best friends kills herself when she's 5 weeks pregnant.

Me: (laughing loudly, hysterically and drunkenly at the tv screen because Kate said, "What do you shower once a week?" and Doug said, "Is that an invitation?")

Whiny Drunk: (ostensibly to me) What? YOU JUST LAUGHED AT THE WRONG TIME!

Me: Huh?

Whiny Drunk: Oh, you're watching a movie.

Me: Yeah, shut the fuck up and go to sleep. (Well, that's what I should've said.)

Becky: (Laughs.)

END SCENE.

The proceeded was brought to you by Miller Lite and a wee aversion to underage chicks who have no business hanging with the big dogs.